What Happens When a Tooth Fairy Loses a Tooth?

Absolute chaos!
Last week, my tooth fairy was put out of commission for having to have a baby tooth pulled from TF's (Tooth Fairy) mouth. Now this TF has been on the job for several years and has been quite creative in the way they deliver and reply to those letters from the children. Once they wrote back on a cute letterhead explaining to the recipient that they needed to stop sucking their thumb or else they would never see TF again. The sucking of teeth made their teeth protrude so offensively that there was no way to get a good price on those bent teeth, therefore the child would only get half price on teeth transactions!

I personally thought that this was really creative on the part of the TF.
Who else comes up with such a fancy story that could almost sound true to unsuspecting readers?
So the TF was out of commission and I was left to pick up the pieces. There were a lot of pieces since the tooth had been broken when the Dr pulled it out! (You catch that pun?) The real TF tries to make the exchange on the night of the incident. Remember, sooner is better than forgotten!
Day 1- I forgot. TF reminded me that they had been forgotten.
Day 2- I forgot. Again!
Day 3- No money for the exchange.
Day 4- I receive a nasty note about the past due payment.
Day 5- Tf asks if they have to do the job for themself, but they can't because they do have any money!
Day 6- The tooth is missing. Stolen by unsuspecting preschoolers and lost in the room dubbed, "The Black Hole".
Day 7- Found and exchanged for $2.00. TF scolded me for making them look bad and they wouldn't leave the job to me again if they ever had to! They also said that I was CHEAP!
Well, my feelings could have been hurt but nope! I completed the job and gave it back to the TF to continue the reign over dental storage and exchanges!
That was 6 months ago!
Guess what?
TF had another baby tooth pulled last week!
Here we go again because I forgot to be the substitute.
Well, that explains those nasty looks I've been getting at the dinner table!

(Now off to find some money..........)

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New Year, New Attitude

Wow!
This year has flown by already and I am amazed at the things which have happened (or not!). The children have all grown so much since January 1st and I seem to be stuck in a strange holding pattern with my teaching certification, weight loss, and simplifying of my home. Yes, I am trying to get it all done, but strangely I have been overtaken by a new obsession,(OCD is rearing it's ugly head). The obsession of clean and uncluttered flat surfaces! I know, this probably dosen't mean much to you, Dear Reader of the already uncluttered, clean house and flat surface type, but this is SIGNIFICANT to me!
I'm used to a fairly decently messy house where toys, stuffed animals, newspaper, and bodies are on the floor. The occasional couch pillow, blanket,another body, car keys, shopping cart and plastic container of cotton balls didn't bother me either, but now it distracts me and I HAVE to do something about it. There is NO tunnel vision to me, (unlike my other family members who seem to ignore and step over things, while stopping briefly to place an empty soda can on the counter when the recycle bin is only 6 feet away, my SON!) and I can't overlook it anymore. Right now, I am sitting at the dining room table and to my left, there is an empty small pizza container, basket of napkins(it belongs here), three books and a clipboard(my textbooks),ziplock bag of 2 day old cupcakes, little peoples smock, glass of water & cup of tea (both are mine), some V-day artwork, some stickers and my sons hat. This is so-ooo distracting to me and if I look up to the kitchen counter then I feel the tension mounting as I see more little things that could possibly push me to the brink of insanity!
I honestly don't know what or why this happened all of a sudden, but wait! I think I do know! As I have been doing my Montessori coursework, I have had this constant problem of losing whatever book that I am studying from. This has happened more times that I can count and it has annoyed Mr. so much that he requested that I buy a Kindle version so that I can't lose it and can read it on my pc or Kindle (yes, I succumbed to Kindle and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!!), and he can stop having to hunt for it with me. (Sadly, neither of the books are electronic- boo hoo.) Now back to where I was....... Ummm. Okay. I lost my train of thought since looking at the counter- good grief! See, now you understand what I am saying? All this stuff is wearing me down and I can't seem to get rid of enough of it!
Oh, now I know where I was. I was talking about my teaching certification. So I am at the part of how environment effect learning and I am living proof of it and so is my family! Wowwee- we are all suffering from OJCS (Overstuffed Junk Clutter Syndrome). Distraction, stress, constipation (I just threw that one in there to see if you were actually paying attention-HA!), all of those symptoms that point to us as overwhatevered! So about 2 weeks ago I started 40 Bags in 40 Days again.http://www.memoriesoncloverlane.com/2011/03/one-week-from-now-40-bags-40-days.html I really enjoyed it and got rid of a lot of stuff. This time I am hell bent (is that a curse word?), on getting it done by March 5th. We have friends coming to stay with us for a week and I don't want to open a closet and be attacked by 40 rolls of toilet paper falling out of it! (And by the way, the toilet paper WAS on sale!) Besides the benefit of looking clean and tidy, my home should be peaceful to me and my family also.

Where did it all go wrong? By all means, I can't exactly pinpoint any one thing, but can point out at least 10.
-Baby dear came via c-section which spiraled me into a depressive like state of being since I wasn't capable of delivering her myself.
-I had 2 major thyroid surgeries in 15 days, leaving me unable to care for the 6 month old as well as lift anything heavy for nearly 2 months.
-Oldest child had a failed surgery to plug a hole in her heart.
-Husband had the same surgery- it worked and they fixed it.
-Oldest child graduated from high school. (I am now feeling old!)
-Financial problems with my family back in the states.
-My babies both started nursery school.
-Only son started high school and began his career as a slacker.
-I gained an enormous amount of weight since my thyroid meds have been unstable.
-My father's dementia worsened in a matter of weeks. He passed away right before Christmas.
-We went back to the states and realized how much we have become European.

There were lots of little things interspersed in there, but those on the list were the major issues. So I can say that I have had some pretty good excuses, don't you?
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So now that I have laid that on you- the blog that I wrote on Feb 1st, and currently it is March 4th, would you like to know how far I got on the 40 bag challenge?
33 bags of all shapes and sizes have left my home!! Books, clothes, recyclables, you name it- it is gone!
Is my house a little cleaner? Why yes it is and I am not done yet.
I have one more day to get there and by golly, I will!

Conversations in the hallway.

Here is a smidgeon of what you hear in our hallways.
"She's cute. In a psychotic way."
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"Why are you telling me to stop? I haven't even put my hands around your neck yet!"
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"If they had chocolate flavored medicine, there would be an awfully large amount of overdoses."
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My four yr old LOVES to help me cook. This conversation happened while I was detering her from helping me make breakfast one morning.
(Me in my thickest Russian accent.)"Dear Sweetheart, bacon pops and sizzles and burns your skin!"
(Now scream and wave your arms wildly in front of you while backing up) "ARRGGHHHHHhhhhhhhh!"
(Now whisper enthusiastically.)"So keep your distance!"
She backed away so quickly, she tripped over her chair!
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My son was awarded an after school detention and my husband lectured him about how this jail term was ruining his good name since he NEVER had to go to detention. So, the two teenagers got into a conversation about the oldest one having after school detention and how could it ruin the family name. They came to me in the kitchen and the conversation goes as follows;
April-"Mom! Dad is telling Wyndon that he is ruining the family name by becoming a Jailbird! What is he taking about- that's crazy!
Wyndon- "Yea! C'mon, I wasn't even skipping. It wasn't on purpose! I was only late FOUR times in this whole school year! That's not so bad is it?"
April- "I don't think so. I had to go to detention TWICE in my whole high school career! Mom, did you ever have to go to detention?"
Me, as I was thinking how much I didn't want to answer this question.- "Well, YEAH! I went to detention and I ROCKED THAT PLACE!!!"
Mr.laughed and walked out of the room.
Case closed...........
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The little girls were chasing each other in the dining room and Chloe ran through, quickly and gracefully dropping to her knees and ducking under the table to avert a headcracking disaster. Joy, who was chasing her hasn't achieved this level of ducking action yet. She tried to bend quickly to get under, but instead cracked her forehead on the side of the table, knocking herself into a level of consciousness unknown but all except trauma patients.All you could hear was a thud upon impact."UUgh" was what we heard. Then she stood there looking at the table, bewildered, thinking "How could you? What was that? I'm not doing this again!" She turned around and slowly walked away from the scene of the accident........
April and I, on the other hand sat there waiting for the right time to laugh.......
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My son came home from school for lunch on one of the days he had ridden his bike. He said he had had an accident. Obviously he was a bit shaken up since he had to repeat it TWICE to get my attention. He said he was riding and his bike hit something, causing him to fly off and land face down with his hands averting the face altering plastic surgery disaster that happened to MR. April asked him if anyone saw it and he said, "Yes, they all asked me if I was okay." So he walked the bike home in search of compassion and love. He picked a terrible time as we were heading out the door to deliver fresh, hot Shanghai Noodles to Elise's class for a Chinese New Year's party. I quickly looked him up and down, assessing that it was just a small spill and that he was an overly dramatic person. I told him that we were leaving and I was sorry that he was hurt. "Heat up some Shanghai noodles in the microwave, eat that and you will be okay. Just don't be late going back to school."
As uncompassionate as that was, that was all I could do at the moment. As I headed out the door, I went to slip on my shoes and saw a horrible sight- one of his shoes was ripped open! I looked out the door and saw his bike- It was wrecked up too. I turned and REALLY looked at him and saw that he was TRULY jacked up! He was really wrecked too! Needless to say, I felt bad for him.
But I am telling you- he is a "High School Drama Queen!"
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There are only two things that can breathe fire. One of them is a dragon and the other is Gordon Ramsay.
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A Birthday to Remember........

My dear 9yr old, soon to be 10 yr old has a birthday right before Christmas. Only 3 days mind you, but around Christmas? What a busy time of the year to call your own. You have to squeeze your "special me time" between the most gluttonous days of the year and the celebration of the birth of Christ! How can a little girls birthday compete with that? The holidays are always stressful and I hate trying to get things in the mail in Dec-Jan. It is nearly impossible to get it on time if you haven't ordered it in October! And, if you know me I like to plan things a little bit near the almost possible last minute, got that? So we had the idea and the reason, but the clock was starting to tick. It was the beginning of the month and I was gearing up for a small birthday invasion, but alas, this wasn't meant to be. I was summoned home to see my father for what was to be the last time. It was a sobering journey that has it's place in another blog....
So we went to Texas and came home on Dec 20th, approximately 2 days before this poor child's birthday. Having just been mentally taxed, my first thought was to postpone the party till the weekend but it just didn't feel right to me. I have just about always had the children's birthday party on their actual "day of birth" and it has become a tradition to me to do so- no matter what day of the week. The outrageous variety of a Tuesday afternoon party versus the usual Saturday afternoon shindig just tickles my bones so being a bit off the beaten path I wanted to keep up the tradition. Apparently I am a traditionalist and fail to admonish that realization. (I have to insert this here-one of my favorites!!)


Now I call up her 5 friends to see if they can come to our house for an impromptu spa party and of course they all say "Yes!" Elise was a happy camper and we began the frantic preparations! The cake was an ice cream cake from the commissary-I just didn't have the stamina to bake one myself, but she loved it just as well. I picked up a few items while we were in the states and they covered most of what we needed so another mom added to the "beauty collection" with her equipment and knowledge and we were all set! Six young ladies were pampered and poshed for a few hours and dear Elise had the time of her life! I am so blessed that it all worked out for the best and you can see by the smile on her face that she was just a glowing with happiness!
Happy Birthday Elsie!!

A Letter To My Father

Dear Daddy,
I flew home because they said you were dying. I didn't want to come because I couldn't bear to see you like this. The traveling part looked like such a burden to me because I feared the worst- 9 hours on a plane with an extremely active and sometimes Attila the Hun-like toddler. She has been such a healing blessing to us since Mom passed away 2 1/2 years ago. I knew I had to get over my fears so that you could see her, mom's namesake, so we packed up, prayed up and hopped on 2 planes and a long car ride to see you and say "Hello and goodbye". My fears were unmerited and this proved to be one of the best plane trips ever! We were so blessed and out of thousands of people, we ran into a dear friend, Barbara Yoder from Ireland, in the Chicago airport! Just her presence was a comfort to us and after we parted, we ran into each other again!
So Daddy, I came home and I knew you weren't going to be the same person that I knew when I last talked to you. They said you were unresponsive and that the final stages of dementia had set in. You had gone home from the hospital and were fine, eating and drinking and talking as usual, then all of a sudden you just fell ill and your sugar level wouldn't come down. Nothing worked and they took you back to the hospital. From there, I was told that your condition worsened and you slipped into a partially vegetative state, the condition that you are in now. It's been over 10 days since you last ate and a feeding tube would only prolong the inevitable and make you more uncomfortable. So Daddy, I made the big trip and came to see you and introduce the new generation to you.
It took 24 hours and a lot of coffee,(you know I don't like that stuff), to stay awake during the drive from Oklahoma City to you, but I did it. When I finally came to see you, my heart sank- you were just lying there, half asleep. I held your hand and spoke to you, then all of a sudden, you opened your eyes and started looking at me. You knew it was me and as I spoke to you, you squeezed my hand and a tear rolled down your face! Since mom died, every time I spoke to you on the phone, I cried. I knew you missed her and weren't being cared for as nearly as well as she cared for you. I'm sorry I couldn't be here Daddy, but was coming home in a few months to live anyway. Then you'd have us to help care for you.
I want to tell you about yourself-the things I thank you for the most. Daddy, you are such a strong man and your personality is a "take it or leave it" type. You weren't going to drag anyone to do something they didn't want to do. You'd willingly teach the person who wanted to learn- that's how I learned so many neat things from you. You took me everywhere with you. I can remember going with you to one of your friends store. They were a bunch of old crusty men, but they were kind and always had a soft spot for me. Whilst they were drinking, smoking and playing cards, someone would always produce some candy and teach me how to play what you were playing. Gin rummy, spades, bones- I learned to master them all. You taught me how to fish and clean those fish (yuck!), but you did most of the cleaning for me. I love eating fish and you did too. I learned a bit of patience from fishing, Daddy. Thanks. You taught me how to fix toilets because I thought it was interesting to see you digging in the tank.(And because my brother, Steve, didn't care to learn.) You made sure I could fix a leaky faucet because there would always be one that dripped and drive mom crazy! We worked on cars and got oily and grimy together Daddy. I remember looking under the hood and wondering what this and that were for- you told me and I couldn't remember it all, but I knew if the car got sick, we'd be together, getting parts and working on it.
I learned a lot of DIY from you. You fixed whatever you could and if you couldn't, one of your "Old Crusty" friends could and they'd have me helping out or observing, explaining the whole process along the way. You taught me how to cut the grass in a neat and orderly fashion. To this day, I actually like cutting grass and vacuuming because you can see results instantly and you can see if you were doing it wrong too! I was learning organization from that. You taught me how to love and treat animals. We always had a cat or dog and when I left home, you and my kitty, Deveraux became the best of friends. I remember you telling me that he was your alarm clock, waking you up every morning so the two of you could eat breakfast together. I knew he was in good hands with you, Daddy. When he disappeared, you kept looking for him, every day. Finally you gave up- he was old and you knew he went away to die. You called me and let me know. Compassion- you showed me some of that too, Daddy. When we drove to New Orleans because your mother had passed away suddenly, we drove through the night to get there and at one point, a rabbit hopped out on the road in front of the car. You hit him, but I heard you say, "Sorry, Mr Bunny". I'll never forget that. There was compassion in what you said.
Tall and slender, you always had a neat and cared for appearance. I remember you ironing your clothes every few days. Since you worked at Neiman Marcus for over 20 years, you introduced me to fine perfumes, quality clothes and exotic foods. You brought home what you could to show us children that there was more to life than meat loaf and mashed potatoes! You provided for us well, Daddy. Thank you. You showed me that the best things for lunch was a sandwich,(always on fresh bread),and a power nap. I heard old songs and watched you and mom dance to them. What a delight! You two were so happy to have each other. Such love! For years i begged you to stop smoking, but you didn't. Not until you nearly passed out after chasing the dog back into the fence did you realize how bad cigarettes were for your health. You quit cold turkey-I was so proud of you! You drove the nieces to and from school each day and helped my Grandmother when she needed anything. We played baseball and football together. I ran track and you were so proud of me when I went to the nationals in Hershey, Pennsylvania. You took me to school on the first day. I remember watching you leave. I cried and watched you walk away. I think you cried too- you did't turn around and wave to me. That's okay because you made it up to me with the biggest hug and kisses! Oh we missed each other!! You aren't an emotional person- except for getting angry at crazy stuff And wow, you have a temper there! I know because I picked that up from you too. That's alright since I've learned how to deal with it. When I was older, I diagnosed you with Peter Pan Syndrome. You were angry so I rediagnosed you with Last Child Syndrome. You thought that was more like you!
Oh Daddy, I'm sorry you have to go, but Jesus is calling you soon. He has an appointment with you and I think you are ready. You know him well. Mom is there and waiting to see you too as well as many of your loved ones who went before you. We will miss you and do our best to pick up the pieces when you are gone. Steve hasn't become fully responsible yet, and he most likely won't, so we will have to make sure Karlin is taken care of. It'll be alright and at least you were able to see the littlest children before you go. I love you and don't for you to have to spend the rest of your life in bed with machines helping you to live. You wouldn't want that so we won't put you through it. Just remember that I will be with you till the end and when I cannot be there you will be comforted by Jesus himself. Look ahead for glory, Daddy! You'll be there soon.

I love you forever,
Your Baby Girl

In My Closet Is My Own Worst Enemy......

Disclaimer: There is one word that may be offensive in here and it is not a curse word!

Several days ago the weather changed towards the cold side. I pulled out the childrens coats and gave them a wash, making sure that they were clean from when I cleaned them before I put them in the closet. All was well until I decided it was cold enough for me to get my coat out. I avoided doing this until it was absolutely necessary because, facing the thought of freezing wind howling through my sweaters, I though it be best to avoid pneumonia. I headed to the back wall of my closet where I hadn't seen, nor heard, from my wool coat for at least 6 months. I dug deep, and coming up with the heavy, camel colored, wool coat, I saw there was a brown dot on the collar. I thumped it off, thinking it was a bit of lint from the brown sweater in front of it and laid it down on the recliner near my bed. My eyes scanned the wonderful warm and fuzzy coat that I anticipated wearing later that day when I spied a strange trail of naked fabric. The fuzz was gone and you could see where it was missing!

What? What? What was that? Was I seeing what I thought I was? Something had eaten the fuzz off my collar! On my coat. My ONLY GOOD COAT!

(I have to pause and tell you that I am getting upset as I write this because I STILL can't believe it happened to me!)

Was that creature I thumped off my coat responsible for this? No way! But what else could have done this but that thing! What am I going to do? Get it dry cleaned, yes, that's what I'll do. But wait! Look at the stain under the sleeve! That was there from the last dry cleaning so they really stink at dry cleaning here! I can't wash it. It'll turn to wrinkled fluff. I can't wear this anymore! This creature ate' drank, sleeped, peed and pooped in my coat! I can't wear this again! Oh no, I need a new coat and fast.

I ran downstairs to explain my dilemma to my daughter and husband and they started laughing at me! Mr said that I'd have to get some mothballs and smell like an old person forever! He also called me neurotic. That is NOT FUNNY!
So, I layered up and went on my merry way, vowing to go back in the closet and vacuum that creature to another dimension later.
That evening, I went back to the closet and found my beautiful Scottish wool scarf that was given to me by my daughter for Christmas last year. It just happened to be on the hanger next to where the offended coat was butchered. I took it out in anticipation of getting it cleaned so I could wear it later in the week. Inspection time!!! I held it up to the light and my eyes couldn't miss the holes that the light was streaming through!! I WAS INSANE WITH ANGER! That was it! This was the last straw and that little,(close your ears my friends, you've never heard this word from my mouth), bastard, had to die! I grabbed a hanger and started beating the clothes in my closet with it. If that thing was there then he was going down! After a few minutes, I gave up and landed on the closet floor to inspect if the offenders body was there. I took everything out and crawled through it from corner to corner. I FOUND NOTHING! You can only imagine how much angrier I was! I was unconsolable with anger! Trust me, I was beside myself when I figured out what state I was in!!
Today I am calm enough to write about it, but if you mention that coat and take my blood pressure, you will see Mt Vesuvius arise again!!

Has this ever happened to you?

Compassion- What in the world?

It all began several months ago when my husband was diagnosed with cancer. He had gone to the Dr for a variety of ailments, but the most prominent one was the blood in his urine. I know I am telling his business, but if there is any man in your life that has this symptom, have them get this checked.
He had a biopsy which confirmed the disease and we have been on the fight against it ever since. On the day he found out, he was coming in the door and I was walking out of it. I asked him what the Dr said about his biopsy and he said to me in a whisper, "I have cancer". I said "Really? No?' and he said "That's what they said."

So that is how we roll at our house. No big announcement. No sitting down to talk about it, just a whispered statement and time to let it sink in. Later on we sat down to a Pow-Wow and had a deep discussion. It took us a few days to tell the children what was going on. We had to be ready for any questions they had at the time and we needed to be prepared ourselves for questioning. As it was, they barely had 10 questions to ask. I guess it all sank in thoroughly.

I had to look at him in a whole new light after that fateful day. Every ache and pain became thoroughly investigated. I tried not to ignore his "Oh,this pain and oh, that hurts." (I was getting REALLY good at that- This man has LOTS of aches and pains!) Each and every day was to be savored more than ever. My heart became softer.(But not too soft though, I don't want to seem "mushy".) We had this appointment and that appointment and finally the decision was made to have the surgery and get it over with. We had already been waiting since the biopsy for a surgery date and it seemed a long way off and our patience was wearing thin. He seems to have more patience than I in certain situations, and I didn't feel like this was a time for patience. Action, swift and decisive was what I wanted and in this country, I wasn't going to get it. Frankly, I haven't been getting many things that I have wanted lately and I guess I have had a sour attitude, but I wasn't showing it (or at least I thought I wasn't- another place where God is working on me!)
Some things you really want to just put in the closet and deal with on a rainy day and this has been one of those situations.
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November 19, 2011
My dear husband has had his surgery almost 3 weeks ago and has had his share of complications. We have been back and forth to the hospital emergency room frequently enough for me to know many of the staff on a personal basis. I think that at some point,some of these obstacles to his recovery are mental barriers called pride and ego and those are two hard partners to dance with. I know those two- pride and ego. They make you obnoxious to others, just like the whiff of a skunk in the middle of a fresh breath of air. You almost choke while inhaling!
I don't ever recall asking for two little ones at the same time, Lord, and I think I have done fairly, sorta, okay with them so far. I know I was blessed with them because I had wondered about the sanity of anyone who would double their workload and stress level by choice, and that is what it is, a choice to be a parent. God chooses us and gives us options. Even if we don't get what we want, a child or children, then we have ignored the choices we had before they were conceived and now that they are here, we have the choice to be the best parent to that child that they could ever imagine or be a sorry and pitiful parent who mumbles that they are still angry about that child being here.
How did I get off subject so badly?
I know- MR being at home and under the weather with moments of all out crankiness and dejection combined with the daily care of two little ones has been taxing on me mentally and physically. It's easier to take care of the children then the one man! Most nights I only get around 5-6 hours of sleep and I am so tired and worn out for it all. I could choose to be a cranky and cantankerous wife and mother, spreading my misery throughout my daily travels but I don't want to be remembered that way. I want people to remember me as "That Happy American Woman! I don't hit the mark everyday because of my attitude, but people genuinely know that I care for them.
Off subject again!!
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Now I have a bit of compassion. Not a lot, but a sprinkle. My dear Mr has used up most of my compassion these last 3 weeks. I have felt sorry for him and all, but truth be told, my compassion needs a refill. I am tired of examining and apologizing for each hurt pain and boo-boo. Men are very verbal in their pain. Mother Theresa was a saint if she had so much compassion for so many people. Jesus has compassion and grace for every man, woman and child on this earth. I have only a few to care for and I am overwhelmed some days. I see why a retreat is needed to rejuvenate ones soul. I need one soon.
Do you want me to send you a postcard?