Sunday, January 29, 2012

Conversations in the hallway.

Here is a smidgeon of what you hear in our hallways.
"She's cute. In a psychotic way."
"Why are you telling me to stop? I haven't even put my hands around your neck yet!"
"If they had chocolate flavored medicine, there would be an awfully large amount of overdoses."
My four yr old LOVES to help me cook. This conversation happened while I was detering her from helping me make breakfast one morning.
(Me in my thickest Russian accent.)"Dear Sweetheart, bacon pops and sizzles and burns your skin!"
(Now scream and wave your arms wildly in front of you while backing up) "ARRGGHHHHHhhhhhhhh!"
(Now whisper enthusiastically.)"So keep your distance!"
She backed away so quickly, she tripped over her chair!
My son was awarded an after school detention and my husband lectured him about how this jail term was ruining his good name since he NEVER had to go to detention. So, the two teenagers got into a conversation about the oldest one having after school detention and how could it ruin the family name. They came to me in the kitchen and the conversation goes as follows;
April-"Mom! Dad is telling Wyndon that he is ruining the family name by becoming a Jailbird! What is he taking about- that's crazy!
Wyndon- "Yea! C'mon, I wasn't even skipping. It wasn't on purpose! I was only late FOUR times in this whole school year! That's not so bad is it?"
April- "I don't think so. I had to go to detention TWICE in my whole high school career! Mom, did you ever have to go to detention?"
Me, as I was thinking how much I didn't want to answer this question.- "Well, YEAH! I went to detention and I ROCKED THAT PLACE!!!"
Mr.laughed and walked out of the room.
Case closed...........
The little girls were chasing each other in the dining room and Chloe ran through, quickly and gracefully dropping to her knees and ducking under the table to avert a headcracking disaster. Joy, who was chasing her hasn't achieved this level of ducking action yet. She tried to bend quickly to get under, but instead cracked her forehead on the side of the table, knocking herself into a level of consciousness unknown but all except trauma patients.All you could hear was a thud upon impact."UUgh" was what we heard. Then she stood there looking at the table, bewildered, thinking "How could you? What was that? I'm not doing this again!" She turned around and slowly walked away from the scene of the accident........
April and I, on the other hand sat there waiting for the right time to laugh.......
My son came home from school for lunch on one of the days he had ridden his bike. He said he had had an accident. Obviously he was a bit shaken up since he had to repeat it TWICE to get my attention. He said he was riding and his bike hit something, causing him to fly off and land face down with his hands averting the face altering plastic surgery disaster that happened to MR. April asked him if anyone saw it and he said, "Yes, they all asked me if I was okay." So he walked the bike home in search of compassion and love. He picked a terrible time as we were heading out the door to deliver fresh, hot Shanghai Noodles to Elise's class for a Chinese New Year's party. I quickly looked him up and down, assessing that it was just a small spill and that he was an overly dramatic person. I told him that we were leaving and I was sorry that he was hurt. "Heat up some Shanghai noodles in the microwave, eat that and you will be okay. Just don't be late going back to school."
As uncompassionate as that was, that was all I could do at the moment. As I headed out the door, I went to slip on my shoes and saw a horrible sight- one of his shoes was ripped open! I looked out the door and saw his bike- It was wrecked up too. I turned and REALLY looked at him and saw that he was TRULY jacked up! He was really wrecked too! Needless to say, I felt bad for him.
But I am telling you- he is a "High School Drama Queen!"
There are only two things that can breathe fire. One of them is a dragon and the other is Gordon Ramsay.

1 comment:

*Melanie* said...

it is good that u are writing this will go well with my sitcom!!!!!! i am crying from the laughter!!!!