Monday, May 31, 2010

Survival 101

It has been a week and my life has not been at all the same. Everything about me has changed and frankly (yep, Frankly again), I don't like it! I'm an independent person and the fact that I have to depend on my family is really upsetting. I expected more from them. I really did. The fact is that I have made them so dependent on me that they are partially incapable of doing my job. I feed them 3 meals a day, snacks, and they get clean laundry and free transportation has made them well, LAZY. ALL of them.

After 20 years of servitude(marriage) and 5 children, I was home from the hospital after this MAJOR EMERGENCY SURGERY and I was hungry. Mind you, I'm supposed to REST and not walk the stairs! Most of the household was at school and someone who was to care for me was busy getting their checklist done. I asked for a sandwich since it was after lunchtime and my body was melting into one of those "Need food weakness spells". Someone said "Sure!" They commenced to gather their things and the 2 yr old, then walk right out of the door! OK then can you see where we are going with this? ( I do have to commend my Spring Chicken teenager. After she got wind of how I felt, she kicked in like Martha Stewart!)

There have been many other things like this happening which made me feel pretty unloved. On night 2 after arriving home I was so physically hurt and mentally neglected that I had a "God wrestling with Abram" session. I prayed, questioned, cried, shook my fists, prayed and cried some more. I know that the Lord has a reason and a season for this, but did I have to be the victim of this "hit and run"? My body, mind and spirit are breaking an it hurts something awful.
There is more to say, but I just can't say it all right now.

Pray for me.

1 comment:

MamaOlive said...

You should have called me! We'll see you tonight.